Eli helping others

I got a message on my FB the other day from a girl I had never met that used to live in the same town I do. She explains to me that she lost her little boy on December 16th of 2009 and he doesn't have a headstone. She had heard or read about Eli's fund and wondered if we could help her get a headstone for her son. At first I was heartbroken because there was a precious baby taken too soon and he needed a headstone, something NO baby should ever need. Then I was happy because someone needing help not only means that their baby gets something that they deserve but also that Eli's memory is alive and he's doing good for someone else's baby. We currently don't have enough money to cover the full cost of her son's headstone so we will be holding a Christmas fundraiser (I hope) to help pay for it. If there is anyone out there who would have suggestions for fundraisers or who would be willing to donate a Christmas item or money to Eli's fund it would be greatly appreciated.

What I've learned

The last almost 21 weeks have been the most difficult for me. I had every intention of bringing home a baby and when I didn't and I had to bury him instead I literally felt like whatever was holding me up threw me straight to the ground.

While everyday life is difficult to say the least I have learned a few things that I will forever be grateful to Eli for. First, love has no limits. We never really got to meet Eli, I knew him of course because he grew inside of me for 36 beautiful weeks but as a person we never got to know him. Even though we will never be blessed to hear his cry, see his smile or just feel him, his love is rooted in the depths of my heart and they can never be taken away.

He also taught me to love while I can. I appreciate every little thing every person does for me. I did before but now its so much more meaningful. Someone dropping by to say "hi" and see how I am fills my cup of joy.

The most important thing he has taught me is that I have to appreciate what I have while I have it. I mourn for him everyday but I'm thankful that I had him. He changed me forever. I have a new found love for Austin that is deeper than it ever was. I appreciate every cry, tantrum, snuggle and kiss he has to give me. Though in some aspects I find that I am unlucky I also find that I am very lucky. I am lucky to have had such an amazing little boy who taught me more in his 36 weeks in my womb and 6 hours as an angel in my arms than I have ever known. I am so lucky to have Austin who continues to bless me everyday with his love and laughter. I love my boys more than life.