Sunday, September 26, 2010

Before the loss of Eli I viewed pregnancy as a gift and something to be cherished. Bliss. Even though I still view pregnancy as a gift I'm no longer naive. I feel as if I can't be happy about being pregnant because I'm not guaranteed a baby in the end. Although I hope and pray that I do not experience a loss again I know that it is possible. It's like everytime I go to the bathroom I expect to see blood. I hate to live with this constant stress and worry. Wish I could go back to being naive and blissfully ignorant.


  1. oh amber I know this feeling all to well as you know. Im over 22 weeks, and since day 1 of finding out i was pregnant I check the toilet paper each time. sometimes my mind will trick me into thinking I see something thats not there.
    after getting my cerclage they told me i would spot. I remember going to the rest room and there being blood and crying. and calling the nurse in. they reassured me it was normal, but blood is something you dont ever want to see being pregnant.
    and I wish I could go back to being pregnant and naive and blissful as well.
    I wish you the best sweetie and will be praying for you and bean

  2. ((HUGS)) Keeping you in my heart and praying for your comfort/peace of mind.

  3. I know that feeling so much. Keeping you in my prayers & sending {{HUGS}}