Friday, September 10, 2010
Feel like I'm drowning
I was having an okay night until I wasn't. It just hit me all of a sudden and I felt as if I were drowning in my thoughts. This is the first night I can honestly say I wanted to ram my head into the wall to make the hurt on the inside go away. Obviously, I didn't do that b/c I know that the only thing that will do is give me a huge headache on top of everything else. Is it bad of me to say that sometimes I want to forget that this happened to me, that I want to forget this pain in my life? I don't want to forget Eli, just the hurt that goes with his passing. Just when I think I'm moving forward I fall back. I just can't get a grip on it and I don't know why. I live in constant fear that something is going to happen to Austin and I just can't keep living like this. What do I do?
Posted by Amber Roseberry at 8:41 PM