Sunday, September 5, 2010

Why doesn't he go?

Eli has been gone 11 weeks. It seems impossible to me. I still feel like it was yesterday that I was holding him in my arms and kissing him goodbye. My husband hasn't been to the cemetery in almost 2 months. I don't understand this, why doesn't he go? The only thing we can do for Eli is visit him at the cemetery and he hasn't gone. I understand that this situation sucks, that we should be holding him in our arms instead of going to the cemetery to visit him but for crying out loud when the only thing you can do for your child is visit them at the cemetery shouldn't that be what you do? My heart breaks when he doesn't go because it makes me feel like he doesn't care about Eli. I understand most people are sick of hearing about him because he isn't here to be a reminder that he was here. But damnit HE WAS HERE! Regardless if he took a breath or not he was here. I just want him to acknowledge that Eli was here and that he misses him like I do. Is this difficult to do??

1 comment:

  1. Maybe he is dealing w his grief in another way than you are. I'm sure Eli is always on his mind. It might be too hard, the pain might be too fresh to go to the cemetery... ((hugs))